by Dr. Sherri Edelman
TRIUNE Co-Founder
New Year’s resolutions are always made with your very best intentions. You decide that you want to change, and you set out to take real action steps toward what you do want in your life. You see the New Year ahead as a perfect opportunity for a fresh start. The items on the lists may be different, but the themes are often similar. Have you been thinking about your wish list for the year 2010?
Your mind probably tells you what you want to change and what you would like to be different this year based on having experienced CONTRAST. It works like this: when you suffer in some way, you have a chance to experience and deeply know what you don’t want based on your past or current negative experiences, relationships or situations. When faced with contrast, some individuals mistakenly believe that their discomfort, suffering or problems must translate into present and future hopelessness or despair. Their mind judges, criticizes and resists the problems, casting blame for past decisions and failures onto themselves or others, and predicting that still more of the same will always meet up with them in the future. Some will choose to stick with what they have no matter how awful, so they “wall off” the contrast and pretend it never happened (flight), but inevitably the patterns continue. Alternatively, some thrash around and get angry at the contrast, resisting, resenting and blaming it and everyone involved while fighting against it (fight). It is here where the rubber meets the road! There IS a healthier more positive alternative--you can create the life experience you want and deserve to live!
Even though one year has ended and a new year has begun, you are actually always on an infinite continuum of inner growth; like a river, you are flowing along with the current of your own life. You are meant to focus on what you want and expand. You may also consider your life like a fertile acre of ground; you are always capable of cultivating new and better seeds into bright and beautiful buds, blooms and eventually an enchanted garden! In those very experiences unique to your life experience lie the lessons and wisdom that you individually need to discover your own true nature: your innate gifts, desires, and your individual path to peace, joy and love. Unfortunately, some of you may find yourself living as a fish that swims endlessly upstream against the current of unwanted life experiences. This resistance usually develops into habits resulting from internal fear (F.E.A.R.-False Evidence Appearing as Real) that began a long time ago when you were very small.
It is just the right time to begin to perceive your life in a new and empowered way! It is much more helpful to ask yourself—with curiosity and no judgment--what is this situation meant to teach me about myself, and how might I unknowingly create these particular situations that I do not want by creating the contrast to help me awaken to release something that does not serve my highest good? When you take an active part in your life experience as the witness and observe and question with the intention to heal your own life, you can make a decision to focus on what you do want and move proactively in that direction. You can now choose to see yourself as perfect, whole and complete, because you are exactly where you are to learn what you need to grow.
How do you do this? Where is the compass? Once you can see the contrast of what you don’t want, and set your sights on what you do want, how are you supposed to know WHAT to DO to get there, and what about the HOW, WHEN and WHERE? It can feel overwhelming at times. Actually, the guide is right there inside of you; you were born with it installed as software in your hard drive! It is called your Emotional Guidance System (EGS :-), and it can lead the way—but it only works if you practice the courage and willingness to change, which happens through awareness. We all want our lives to change for the better, but in order for your emotional and mental experience, your physical body, your relationships, your diet, your work and finances to improve…you must change inside. You must change your way of thinking, speaking to yourself, and perceiving your life experiences. Your emotions will tell you what you need; your mind can then support you to take right action and make the choices that are best for you. Only then will the outer changes occur!
This is done in layers and involves releasing what has long been held out of awareness mentally and emotionally, often experienced in the present as old habits of behaving and limiting beliefs. There are many skills, strategies and tools that you can develop to aid you in establishing these new healthy and more positive habits! Start this year to take more self responsibility—enCOURAGE what you want to experience in your life by making a commitment to: do some “mental housecleaning”; nurture your relationship to yourself; learn to trust the unknown, and live with some uncertainty. When you commit to begin the process of cleaning house (in your mind), you can start in any “room”! These rooms include the spiritual approach, the mental approach, and the physical approach. I see this as the ‘TRIUNE’…your Body-Mind-Spirit. Pick one area and get started—and don’t hesitate to get some help and support when you need it.
Sometimes change is difficult: you mentally think about what you want for yourself and your life in the new year, and make a list, including goals such as regular exercise, yoga classes, reducing your stress level by getting regular massages and chiropractic treatments, spending time in nature, committing to a regular meditation practice, being more loving kind to yourself and others, nurturing your body with healthy nutrition and supplements, cleaning your “mind clutter” by learning to watch your thinking, being more organized, getting therapy to reduce your emotional pain, improving your relationships, plus a myriad of other possibilities that inevitably end up on many New Years resolution lists.
Some of you inevitably find yourself back where you started. Just start where you are with the intention to pay attention and discover the old mental patterns buried deep within you that are out of your awareness that are the culprits. These include hidden limiting thoughts and beliefs about self worth that are fueled by distorted self concepts. Consider them as temporary “guests” that will soon be gone, so you can become aware of their unwanted interFEARance! Commit this year to live in the present and develop and nurture self love, release and let go of the past with courage, and most importantly, practice the willingness to forgive—first yourself and then others.
You are meant to shine as the star you truly are…each of your own facets polished to unique brilliance. New Year’s intentions are well worthy of your attention, and if they are set realistically and you prepare to meet the interference head on, they can allow you to flow naturally toward all you truly deserve. Make room for the new—attract more love and abundance—you deserve it! Study…expand your knowledge; visualize your success, then celebrate all of your efforts, big and small. When you truly love and accept yourself...YOUR LIFE WILL WORK!
I am truly honored to be CoFounder of TRIUNE WELLNESS. I hope to see you at Triune this year. I wish you all the very best—in Body-Mind-Spirit!
