HOW WE MAKE CHANGES

by Cheryl Berkowitz, CHHC


We are creatures of habit. And though some of us embrace change, many of us tend to do things the way we’ve been doing them habitually for a long time. But every so often there comes a time when you know you have to do something differently, and you find you are ready (or at least resigned), willing and able. You may even be a little excited. You can envision your life with the change you want to make enacted. You are moving towards change with a healthy degree of surrender and the inklings of resolve.

But let’s be real. Making changes in our behavior usually doesn’t happen overnight. It happens one small step at a time. In fact, for most of us, change happens in stages and there are usually bumps in the road.

Since I work with people who frequently need to make changes for health reasons or because of food cravings and low energy, let’s explore the example of a woman needing to reduce or eliminate refined white sugar from her diet.

Initially, this woman may not realize, nor does she care, that she needs to eliminate sugar to stop her cravings for sugar, to regain her energy and stop being tossed about by her mood swings. Even if family members or friends make comments or suggestions, she may not be ready to take them in and has plenty of excuses to continue to ignore her problem.

Next, she may recognize that, indeed, she does have a problem with sugar and is considering possible ways of dealing with it. This stage may go on for some time - a month, six months, a year or years. But she is actively thinking about the change and internally preparing to deal with it. In this process, she may be thinking about the obstacles in her way to initiate the change. She determines this is not going to be easy! She’s not ready yet!

Eventually, she makes the decision to stop eating sugar. This is big. How will she do it? Who will she engage to help her? She reads about it on the Internet, talks to people, makes a list of the sugar in her diet. She thinks about how to substitute for it. She tries going one day without eating any sugar. Wow, that was hard! But she also feels encouraged and resolute. She makes an appointment with a nutrition counselor for guidance and support.

The day before her appointment, she eats a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia in anticipation of deprivation. The next day she meets with the counselor who helps her understand the ways she can substitute healthier sources of sweets so she won’t experience deprivation during this transition, and other ways to balance her diet to reduce her cravings. They create a plan of action. They take into consideration the emotional components of her attachment to sweets and incorporate that awareness into her plan. Over the months, this support is invaluable.

She may fall off the wagon occasionally, unable to resist at a work event, or de-stressing at home with some cookies. She notices that if she eats sugar for a few days in a row, she feels tired, foggy, her energy is lower and thoughts and feelings are moodier. So, having gotten used to feeling really good most of the time, her resolve to stay sugar-free becomes more organic now, more grounded in her body and less in a thought process or a struggle with her habit. Now, it takes less and less effort and for the most part, she sticks to her program and gets off of sugar. Wahoo! Her energy and moods continue to improve steadily. She’s also learned some amazing things about herself in the process!


So where are you in your process of making changes? A lot of compassionate self-acceptance is very helpful in moving you towards and through the changes you may need to make for better health and well-being. Getting the right support is also key. And as sure as I’m sitting here writing this, you can do it!